Humor

Trouble with your artist statement?

Cherry Creek Mall, Ceiling. Denver, Colorado, 2016
Cherry Creek Mall, Ceiling. Denver, Colorado, 2016

 

First, aim for the sky–or ceiling–and try this site on for size (and a laugh): Artist Statement Generator 2000

Here is what it came up with for me, once I had filled out the form (and fiddled with a few of the entries to fix some grammar/spelling/flow issues):

Daniel Joder’s Artist Statement

Through my work I attempt to examine the phenomenon of Yogi Bear as a metaphorical interpretation of both Edward Weston and mountaineering.

What began as a personal journey of Bullocksism has translated into images of pizza and big toes that resonate with Maori people to question their own blueness.

My mixed media creations embody an idiosyncratic view of Gandhi, yet the familiar imagery allows for a connection between Elvis, glacial lakes and ice cream cones.

My work is in the private collection of Ted Lange who said ‘Wow!, that’s some real befuddling Art.’

I am a recipient of a grant from Folsom Prison where I served time for stealing mugs and tie clips from the gift shop of The MoMA. I have exhibited in group shows at Jack-in-the-Box and Soho Photo Gallery, though not at the same time. I currently spend my time between my bathroom and Berlin.

 

And here is another fun-funny one: Generate Your Artist Biography

My personal result follows–and this one actually smells faintly legit. The unknowing and unsuspecting might even nod solemnly and sagaciously upon reading it!

Daniel Joder, Artist Statement and Biography

Daniel Joder (b.1958, Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico, United States) is an artist who mainly works with photography. By demonstrating the omnipresent lingering of a ‘corporate world’, Joder investigates the dynamics of landscape, including the manipulation of its effects and the limits of spectacle based on our assumptions of what landscape means to us. Rather than presenting a factual reality, an illusion is fabricated to conjure the realms of our imagination.

His photos don’t reference recognizable form. The results are deconstructed to the extent that meaning is shifted and possible interpretation becomes multifaceted. By exploring the concept of landscape in a nostalgic way, he creates intense personal moments masterfully created by means of rules and omissions, acceptance and refusal, luring the viewer round and round in circles.

His works establish a link between the landscape’s reality and that imagined by its conceiver. These works focus on concrete questions that determine our existence. By applying abstraction, his works reference post-colonial theory as well as the avant-garde or the post-modern and the left-wing democratic movement as a form of resistance against the logic of the capitalist market system.

His works demonstrate how life extends beyond its own subjective limits and often tells a story about the effects of global cultural interaction over the latter half of the twentieth century. It challenges the binaries we continually reconstruct between Self and Other, between our own ‘cannibal’ and ‘civilized’ selves.

Daniel Joder currently lives and works in Boulder, Colorado.

 

Seriously, though, I would suggest you spend 15 bucks on this if you want to put together a real, honest-to-Zeus, artist statement: Writing the Artist Statement, by Ariane Goodwin.

Talking Scat: Two of the Best Commercials Ever

These two video clips get my very enthusiastic nomination as the best commercials EVER. Who ARE those ad writers…???

Images are involved, so that’s good enough for inclusion in this photography blog! Furthermore, to be good photographers, I feel it is imperative that we keep and cultivate that cheeky and mischievous inner child we all have hiding away in a corner of our now-adult, partially-blocked, hearts and–to feed that artistic little tyke within–there is nothing better than hearty snort-laughing at poop and farts.

So, there.

Yes, Thomas, both of these are indeed real products, in case you had doubts.

The first is a pre and post-bowel movement air freshener called PooPourri. The attractive spokeswoman with the perfect British diction is hilarious, her comic delivery is spot on:

 

The second advertisement is also of the scatological kind…a trend, perhaps?…and involves cute little unicorns (sort of). The product being marketed is a most helpful addition to the toilets in your home–the SquattyPotty–and it is guaranteed to…well…to make your “evacuations” smoother, more complete, and more natural:

Beware! Twin Lakes Speed Trap

When on your way to see the autumn gold up on Independence Pass this season, pay attention to the speed limit signs as you come and go through the tiny and tranquil berg of Twin Lakes. Officer Manny Quinn will nail your bony butt to the asphalt if he catches you speeding. Word to the wise, guys and gals…

On a more serious note, do stop in and check out the General Store, the Inn, the Gallery, the Lodge, the Old Schoolhouse, the lake, etc. It’s a cute little place set in a gorgeous area of Colorful Colorado.

 

Manny Quinn, #1. Twin Lakes, Colorado, 2015
Manny Quinn, #1. Twin Lakes, Colorado, 2015

 

Manny Quinn, #2. Twin Lakes, Colorado, 2015
Manny Quinn, #2. Twin Lakes, Colorado, 2015

 

Manny Quinn, #3. Twin Lakes, Colorado, 2015
Manny Quinn, #3. Twin Lakes, Colorado, 2015

Wonderful World-Wide Whirlwind Safari!

Phew! I finally finished sorting through the thousands of photos–and post-processing the best–from our whirlwind tour around the world that we just managed to squeeze into our busy schedule this spring.

We had some great guides who were artists in getting us into position for some incredible wildlife shots. Of course, there were some long, boring hours spent in strategically-located blinds, swatting away tsetse flies and bird-sized mosquitos (and polar bears in the colder climes), awaiting that perfect moment to come together.

But, it was all worth it, as you can see from a few select images:

Cheetah Chasing Antelope. DNHM Nature Preserve, Africa, 2015
Cheetah Chasing Antelope. DMNS Nature Preserve, Africa, 2015

 

Caribou. DMNS Nature Preserve, Alaska, 2015
Caribou. DMNS Nature Preserve, Alaska, 2015

 

Albatross. DMNS Nature Preserve, South Georgia Island, 2015
Albatross. DMNS Nature Preserve, South Georgia Island, 2015

 

Giant Tortoise. DMNS Nature Preserve, Galapagos Islands, 2015
Giant Tortoise. DMNS Nature Preserve, Galapagos Islands, 2015

 

Lynx Duo. DMNS Nature Preserve, Colorado, 2015
Lynx Duo. DMNS Nature Preserve, Colorado, 2015

 

Mountain Goats. DMNS Nature Preserve, Colorado, 2015
Mountain Goats. DMNS Nature Preserve, Colorado, 2015

 

Walrus. DMNS Nature Preserve, Bering Strait, Russia, 2015
Walrus. DMNS Nature Preserve, Bering Strait, Russia, 2015

 

Wolf Pack. DMNS Nature Preserve, Wyoming, 2015
Wolf Pack. DMNS Nature Preserve, Wyoming, 2015

Final Note: If your photo analysis skills aren’t up to par, at least check the date!

How to value art. (My personal marketing plan.)

Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be much logic to it–how art is valued on the commercial market, I mean. You hear of paintings, sculptures, and photographs being sold for small and even large fortunes, but how did the buyer and seller arrive at such prices? (As an example, see my February 22, 2015 blog Peter Lik…Artist? Or, slick businessman? Or both? Or…something else?)

I guess, like someone told me about the real estate market, the value of whatever is being sold is determined by whatever someone is willing to pay. Period.

In art, it seems like marketing, gossip, connections, peer opinion, gallery opinions and prejudices, social appearances, bragging rights, and sometimes even the quality of the actual work, all have something to do with the monetary value of a piece.

Here’s my plan (at least, until I can get to be really, really good): I am going to ask a rich friend to buy one of my photographs for, say, $500,000. I’ll give him the money back the next day, of course. But what we’ll do in the meantime is hold some sort of press conference for the art crowd and throw around phrases like “emerging artist”, “incredible potential”, “recently discovered”, “passionate”, “inspired”, “endowed with rich layers of meaning and Freudian symbolism”, “nihilistic pseudo-psychological analysis of contemporary capitalist-consumer society”, and so on.

We’ll let the art market take it from there.

In that vein, I offer up today’s hilarious video (3 minutes). It’s in Dutch, but if you can read English subtitles, you’ll be just fine as a frog’s hair. The idea here is to place an IKEA painting worth about $20.00 in a museum, act like it is some sort of masterpiece, then ask the opinions of passersby. I love the references to “IKE Andrews” (the artist), and some of his other works: Ektorp, Norden, and Dalskär. A real gut buster.

Is this the state of today’s art market?

A Monument to Caffeine

This bike has been here awhile, eh?

Do you suppose the same person comes to this bus stop with his/her plastic bottle of caffeine-saturated Mountain Dew, then leaves the empty stuffed between the spokes? Are the bottles really empty? What is that stuff inside them? Hmmm…what’s the rest o’ the story?

I’m agnostic when it comes to selective color (that is, not sure of there is a color God or a monochrome God, or a sort of Dual-Deus), but this image was just asking for it…

The Mountain Dew Ad. Boulder, Colorado, 2015 (iPhone 6)
The Mountain Dew Ad. Boulder, Colorado, 2015 (iPhone 6)

Updated Self-Portrait

I really need to get it together and make myself a good self-portrait I can use in the Bio section of this website and for art show publicity. I was thinking of this one. What do you think? Maybe I should let my nose hairs grow out…

Self-Portrait as Goofy. Boulder, Colorado, 2015
Self-Portrait as Goofy. Boulder, Colorado, 2015

OK, maybe not.

Perhaps I should try something a bit more artistic…something that reflects my Gemini duality…my dual focus (sic) between landscapes/nature and cityscapes/street. Maybe something like this? (Anthropologie props are at least good for something–other than purchase at those outrageous prices and with their “Made in China” contract).)

Anthropologie Self-Portrait. Boulder, Colorado, 2015
Anthropologie Self-Portrait. Boulder, Colorado, 2015